I have been thinking about parenting a lot lately. The how to's, the what if's - all the do you, could you, should you. In the post below, Anna Quindlen says we don't LIVE IN THE MOMENT. We don't sit and enjoy where are kids are, always wanting them to get to the next stage. As much as I believe her, I wonder if it is possible to be any other way. Parents dating back hundreds of years have said that. My mother, my grandmother and probably generations before have said the same thing. Every parent I know says they wished they did things different or that they could have enjoyed the time more or read more books, played more, laughed more. No matter if they spend 100% of their time with their kids or 10%. Whether they sat on the floor and played board games or not. They have always looked back at their kids saying how it went by so fast, how they can't believe their kids are 3 or 5 or 10 or 21.
I look forward to my kids getting older, to the times when they are adults and have children of their own. Sometimes I feel that I want to rush the process. Sometimes I feel like I want them to grow up for selfish reasons. I look at them and wonder how it happened so fast, I remember them with chubby cheeks gazing up at me. Suddenly, I am the one looking up at them. But I don't wish them to be babies again. Not them, maybe another... maybe a niece or nephew, friend's... but not them. I enjoy the fact that they are all in school, that they are self-sufficient and independent. It is scary and I worry about them and I stress over the future, but I don't want time to stand still or go in reverse. Does that make sense? I don't feel like I didn't live in the moment, because I am not sure it is possible. We live and learn... sometimes we learn to live. One moment to the next.