There are a few friendships from my past that I have yearned to get back. I have tried and tried to keep even the smallest amount of communication open because I have a hard time letting go. Recently, a childhood friend moved to Arizona. I figured this was my sign to give it up. We have not seen eachother in years. Every once in a while I would get a forwarded email and I would respond. I sent pictures, holiday cards and got nothing "personal" in return. But I hung on. Before she moved there was about 1 minute of chat (via email) of getting together. Never happened. Today, after a few months of nothing, I got another forward. I had pretty much come to the conclusion that I would never hear from her again. Part of me was relieved. But the part of me that is still holding on emailed back. In response to my response, I got this:

"i truly do miss you lonna, i want to catch up on what's important and not dredge up the past.
love ya mean it, i miss you, my oldest and dearest friend, how about singing into hairbrushes for old times sake? as long as it's not in front of the kids"

There was a bit about her kids too. That is the first personal note I have gotten in a long, long time. I am not sure what to do with it. I have wished for so many years that we could have anything, something. And now that she is in another state, she wants to catch up. I am not sure I can forget the past... all the hurt, the abandonment of our friendship. I have never asked anything of her. Not to change who she is, what she does... all I wanted was to love her. And NOW she wants to forget about everything and sing into hairbrushes again. Yea, we did that... "you light up my life, you give me hope... to carry on". Ironic huh? Part of me will take anything... a few emails may lead to seeing pictures of her and her kids which may lead to some phone calls. Who knows. We are both different people... can I pretend that we just met? Should I?